I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
