Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
