BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
