im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
