When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
