talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
