I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
