Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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