I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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