So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
