For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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