He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
