im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
