I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
