so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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