handjob tips. give me some.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
