we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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