Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
