Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
