bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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