Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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