and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
