Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
