it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
