hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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