my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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