his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize