I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
