We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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