omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
