Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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