actually, I'm a sock model
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My vagina just clenched in fear
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize