i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
