The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
