in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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