I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
