then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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