She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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