There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I understand Curling. That high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
