so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
