He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
