I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're so nebulous sometimes
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
