I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
