yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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