Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
