you're like a bully in the Christmas story
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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