You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
