You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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