FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
