My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
