He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
operation harelip BJ is a go
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
