Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I believe in your delicious
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
