i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
