i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if only i could text you this smell
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
