i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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