you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
