I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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