Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
