My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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