I met the friendliest cop last night
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
