Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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