Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
