And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
