she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
