I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
