It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I didn't notice because vodka
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
